Dear Hillary, Dear Donald, et. al...
Dear America,
Dear Secretary Clinton Supporters, and Donald Trump supporters; dear all-of-the-other-candidate supporters—can we talk? American to American. Human being to human being. Please. I want to talk to you because I’m afraid.
And I think, maybe, you are, too. I live in a nice, upper-middle class neighborhood, and our family does okay financially. There isn’t much crime, and it’s pretty peaceful. It’s a fairly small town in a conservative community. Our lives, for the most part, are pretty good. I know that isn’t the case for a lot of you. A lot of you struggle, day in, day out, just to make ends meet. You struggle to pay your bills, put food on your table. I know a lot of you are worried.
A lot of you are worried that your health insurance premiums are going to skyrocket. I know who many of you blame for that. I know a lot of you have fallen through the healthcare cracks and would be financially ruined if someone in your family got really sick. I know a lot of you are afraid because racial prejudices and intolerance seems to be getting worse, and you and your family don’t feel safe in the streets or even in your communities and homes. Many of you are married and are afraid that your marriage could be at risk. Some of you are afraid that your right to own a gun is being threatened.
There are no political signs in anyone’s yard this election. People are too afraid to say who they support. Friends, that scares me. That is not who we are.
I know that some of you are afraid of all the people who own guns. Some of you are afraid of law enforcement, who are supposed to protect us and be on our side. Many of you are afraid that same-sex marriage is dangerous to our society. Some of you are afraid of people who are different than you—they look different, speak different. I know it feels safer to you to hate them than admit what you really feel is fear and lack of understanding. A lot of people don’t understand and don’t want to. That makes us angry and we hate because we’re angry.
I also understand your anger. "This," whatever “this" is in your life, was not what you thought it would be. You imagined it differently. You thought if you worked hard, you’d make it. And not only do you work hard, you work twice as hard, maybe even at two jobs, and it’s still not working. And somewhere along the line, you remember promises being made that hard work netted you a good life. I know. I am angry, too.
I’m angry that so few have so much, and so many have so little. I am angry that I feel so powerless. I am angry that some people get to do things and others don’t. I’m angry about the whole concept of “PC.” I’m angry I have to be PC, and yet I am angry when people are not PC. It’s all so confusing. Why can’t our kids dress up like Native Americans anymore? I’m trying to understand. Why is it okay for me to dress up like a polygamist wife or a pregnant nun, but not a Native American woman? I don’t want to be disrespectful. I want to be sensitive. But shouldn’t that go for everyone, then? Mormon polygamists were a minority and they were persecuted. So, shouldn't that mean we ought to be sensitive to them? Is it all right if I dress up like "white trailer trash?" Isn't that a kind of culture? I want to understand.
Why do so many women hate men? Why do so many men hate women? Why do one in three women in America get sexually assaulted in her lifetime? Is that why we hate men? Because I know so many men who would never hurt a woman. But I am angry I have to be so careful and afraid as a woman. And yet, I don’t want my son grouped into a masculinity barrel where feminists shoot at him because of his gender. I want my daughters to be able to go to a party, walk down a street and be safe. I want men and women to respect each other's strengths and support each other in the areas where they might not be so strong. But it seems there are camps and backlashes and so much vitriol. It’s all so scary, friends.
When I’m angry, I want to blame someone or something. And the media, it gives us all sorts of bulls-eyes for our discontented darts. Sometimes, I think I’m right about something. When I do that, I read things and am drawn to people who agree with me. I think we all do that. But if we only read about things we think we know, how do we learn about different things? If you know you're right no matter what, then it's because you know all of the opposing views. Right? If I spoke to a chef, he would know the right way to make a souffle, and would probably tell you all of the ways to ruin a souffle. So if your position is right, and you are certain, then logic dictates that you have carefully read the opposing views, checked the facts with unbiased sources, and then made your determination based on all of the evidence. That's called critical thinking. I mean, if I say I'm right, I want to be sure. I think that's reasonable, don't you?
I’m worried because so many people are angry at the government. They talk about how broken it is. They feel impotent to fix it. They all have different ideas on how to fix it. There are people calling for anarchy and chaos. They are so afraid, so tired of the way their lives are, they want to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. But for all its faults, we rely on the government for a whole lot of important things. Even small, menial things, like coming to pick up the trash once a week. What would we do if that just…stopped? What would the elderly do if their Medicare checks stopped? People on disability? It sounds really good to just shake it all up like an Etch-a-Sketch, doesn’t it? But I think we might be forgetting all the things that work, daily, for all of us.
It scares me that the election process is being undermined. It reminds me of a jealous man killing his ex-wife, his reason being, "If I can't have her--no one can." I bet all of us see that as a very twisted concept. And yet there are those who are questioning the very foundations of our Democracy and election process and are threatening to upend it, saying "If it doesn't go this way, then no one should win." This concerns me, and it should concern you, too.
So I wanted to talk to you all because this election, it seems to be ripping our country into pieces. People are literally cutting friends out of their lives because they are not voting the same way as them. The tone and environment on social media is so toxic, it hurts to even read down the threads. No one hears facts—no one sees reality. They all buy into the hype and smoke and mirrors. That scares me most of all.
So, my fellow Americans, I want to say this to you: I think you and I? We are not so different, no matter who we vote for. I want to be able to support my family. I want to be able to go to a doctor if I’m sick. I want to work hard and have it pay off—I want to get ahead. I want the world to be a safe, good place for my children. I want people to feel safe in their communities. All people. I want people to have the freedom to own guns. I want people to be able to go somewhere and be free of the fear that they will be murdered by someone with a gun.
I don’t want anyone to starve because they don’t have food, or die because they can’t afford medical treatment. I know you might not like the ACA—this isn’t about that. No matter who you are, ask yourself—do you want someone to die because they can’t afford a doctor? I know, in your heart, you are a good person, and you will probably say “no,” you don’t want someone to die because of that. We agree, then.
I bet you want your kids to get a good education. I know I do. I bet, if you are in the military, or you have family in the military, you want to be taken care of and honored for your service. I bet, also, you don’t want to go to war. And I bet I know something else about you—I bet, no matter who you are, you want to see some changes. I think we all want to see changes.
The thing is, the only person you can change is you. And if you’re afraid of something, a good way to stop being afraid is to learn about it and understand it. If a person has a phobia about riding elevators, his therapist will tell him to ride elevators, ride them all day, until the fear subsides. So what frightens you? Learn about it. But be careful. You don’t go to a physics teacher and ask him how to perform open heart surgery. I mean, he’s smart, but he doesn’t know about that. There are a lot of places to get information. And we talked about finding things to read that support our beliefs, right? But maybe we can try and find sources that don’t support our beliefs. And maybe we can find sources that don’t have an agenda to make you think like they think. Maybe find a source that just has facts. If you think you already have all the facts, remember back when they thought the earth was flat? They were some pretty smart guys, too, but they got it wrong. So you might be smart, but you might be wrong. It happens to the best of us. I'm wrong an awful lot, too.
Well...that’s all I have to say. At the end of the day, we are all just coming home, being with our families, putting food on the table, trying to pay our bills. And we want things to be better. We have a chance to make it better by learning new things about our country and about each other.
I want to be an American with you: the place where dreams are made and realized; the place where people look to for justice and integrity. I want that. Forget who you vote for—let’s stand together, let’s vote for America. Let’s unite around the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
I want a good life—and whoever you are, reading this, I want you to have a good life, too. I honestly, truly and deeply want you to thrive and be happy. I want your kids to be safe and okay. I want a safe place for me and mine, too. I’m betting that every one of you wants that. So if we all want the same things, we have to look at the things I mentioned here—fear and anger. I do not feel safe when I feel fear and anger. I don’t feel safe when other people are fearful and angry. Are you willing to let those feelings go? If not, then don’t talk to me about “change.” You can’t do the same things and expect change.
This country needs to start supporting itself and stop ripping the "other" to shreds. Because we are all doing it. All sides. I'm as guilty as anyone. But if we don't stop, what will be left is a country in tatters, no matter who we elect. America, where has our dignity gone?
If you are willing, then let’s see what we can accomplish together.
Sincerely,
Another American, like you
